Telling 2015 With Pictures

Pictures are more than just record of the moments. They are stories. As 2015 came to an end, I welcome you to a trip down memory lane. Let's reminisce the best moments in 2015 and hopefully, rekindle those cherished in 2016.

CHAPTER 1

The guiding light towards peace, harmony and happiness 

Tzu Chi's beautiful lights

CHAPTER 2

Be in love with your life

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself

CHAPTER 3

Dancing colours

A plain white paper has unlimited possibilities. Colour yours.

Kissing In The Rain

Happily Ever After

CHAPTER 4

In search of someone to watch sunset together with

Appreciate people in my life

CHAPTER 5

Take me back

Those Carefree Days

CHAPTER 6

Reminiscing

Exploring the historical Petaling Street

CHAPTER 7

I'd walk a thousand miles for you

Windmill against blue sky at Gaomei Wetlands, Taichung

CHAPTER 8

If you can't stay, take me away

Lost in Wat Pho, Thailand

CHAPTER 9

緣

緣分是本書，翻得不經意會錯過，讀得太認真會流淚

CHAPTER 10

She believe she could, so she did

Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire

*View pictures on my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eunicethammm/

Dear 2015:

You were filled with days spent in enormous stress, frustration and worry. You were full of heartbreak, dampened pillowcases and insomnia. But you were also about amazing things that were beyond comprehension. You gave me so many opportunities and helped me grow by the tenfold. You gave me hope, love and a heart full of joy despite it all. You allowed me space to blossom in my own right, and led me closer to the person I am going to be. For that, I am looking forward to create more beautiful stories in 2016. Not only for myself, but for the people I love dearly.

2016, I am coming for you.

Life as a medical student #7 Empty Promise, No More

When you look back on your life, is there anything you wish you'd done, had done differently or had never done at all? I believe most of us would say yes. Guilt feels terrible. But the worst thing about guilt is that it sneaks up on you. You are filled with regrets and ''if onlys'', and what you did keeps playing and replaying in your mind. Today I have a confession to make. For if I were given another chance, I would act differently.

She was 42 years old, with underlying long-standing Diabetes Mellitus for more than 10 years. One of the most potentially serious complications of high and uncontrolled blood sugar in the body over many years would be neuropathy, which at its most severe can lead to amputation. This lady just had both her legs amputated. Up until the knees. She was lying on her bed when I see her, eyes staring at the ceiling, almost expressionless. She needed help to cut her fingernails, so I offered her help since I was free in the ward.

I had experience cutting fingernails for my mum but it was slightly different in this case. This is because diabetes and wounds are a dangerous combination. There is no such thing as a minor wound - even a small cut can turn into an ulcer, which is what happened to her legs. I have to make sure I don't cut her skin, not even a single bit. I held her hand up gently and slowly, I started to cut her fingernails, one by one. The lady thanked me, and while I was cutting her nails, she told me none of the nurses in the ward willing to cut her fingernails for her. They scolded her because she requested this and that. Her mum just got robbed of her money which was supposed to be her medical fees. She has no medical insurance. Her husband doesn't like her and finds her a nuisance. She couldn't stop crying after the amputation. The pain was unbearable. The only thing she knew was that she lost her legs. No legs. Cannot walk. Cannot run. Cannot go to places. No, nothing. All gone. Shattered dreams. Unfulfilled promises. Her life was totally changed.

I can't feel anything but pain. I am better off dead. 

I paused for a second, holding back my emotion. I wish I could pretend that I was all focus on cutting her fingernails, but no I had to say something. So I told her that with her hands she can still achieve a lot. She has perfect eyesight. She can still see the beauty in this world. She can still eat all the good food. She can still breathe. She is not alone. You are not alone.

She looked at me with gratitude. I guess it has been a while since someone spent time to talk to her and listen to her. She started to cry when she knew that it was my last day in her ward. I promised to still come back to her ward to visit her after my surgical rotation. Meanwhile, the nurses came in to clean her wound, so I left the lady, and I said, ''I will come back later.''

I didn't realise how much this sentence would mean to a patient the moment I said it. I continued with my work and at the end of the day when I was about to leave the hospital, I suddenly remember I made this promise to the lady. I knew I had to go back, but it was a Friday, laziness got the better of me and I thought I could just go back to the ward on Monday. So I left the hospital. But very soon after that I knew I made a wrong decision. I began to feel guilty for not going back. The lady might just be waiting for me to go back! How could I make an empty promise to a patient? The thought of the lady waiting and thinking that another person in this world cheated her and abandoned her again.....I can't believe I could be this cruel.

For the first time ever in my life, I don't look forward to weekends. All I want is to go back to Surgical Ward 11 on Monday. To fulfill my promise.

Life as a medical student #6 Just a touch of a hand

Dear Mrs E,

We didn't know each other well. You might recognize my face from ward rounds, I was the girl in the corner holding my books, looking at the ground or out the window. I occasionally asked you how you were, and you always told me the same thing - pain, so much pain. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to hold your hand and tell you you will be okay, but something held me back. Because there is nothing I can do to cure you. I am just a medical student, and even if I was a doctor, there is no medicine to make you better. We can give you pills and injections and fluids. But they can only prolong your life. All they gave you was just more and more pain.

I was there when your family was told the news. I saw how they reacted to your prognosis, did you see it? Did you see the pain they were in? Did you realize just how loved you have been. I looked at them, unsure of what to say, knowing that no words could take away their sadness and their grief.

As your condition deteriorated, you couldn't even tell me that you were in pain. I still went to your bed every morning and asked you how you were. But you could only stare at me, mouth wide open, no words coming out from your mouth. You started to lose appetite, you didn't even have a look at the food they served. Your son, who is a great chef who owns a restaurant brought you your favourite food. But yet, you turned your head away.

My heart aches for you.

Finally it was my last day in Ward 23. I came to your bed and said good morning to you. And as usual I asked you how you were. You looked at me, as if you knew that I won't be there with you anymore starting from tomorrow. You reached out your hand to me. I thought you wanted to tell me something so I bent down. Your fingertips found my skin, then you touched my face, gently.

Until today I don't know what it means. But I wish for a miracle - that this illness which haunts you will be gone one day. Stay strong.

Life as a medical student #5 What I learnt from Ward 23

Two weeks in Ward 23, Hospital Kuala Lumpur.

I wish I could tell you stories about an impressive tracheostomy, or how I performed chest compression on a patient and brought her back to life. Nahhh. But I can't. All I can tell you is the little things that happened - what Ward 23 has taught me.

In Ward 23 we have our General Medicine rotation. Patients are from diverse cultural backgrounds and have different life circumstances. Some have been relatively healthy and it was their first hospital admission. Others were chronic disease patients who probably have twenty years of long standing hypertension and diabetes. This is my first opportunity to meet real patients in a hospital setting - it is a much less structured learning environment than I have experienced up until now. A lot of self-directed in my learning is needed, which is a challenge for me as I am used to be spoon-fed -  we all are. On the first few days, I entered the ward and not knowing what to do or who to speak to. All I did was standing there watching the specialists and doctors discussing cases which I don't understand. The busy environment was intimidating, I almost started doubting my decision of becoming a doctor again.

But as I started to talk to some of the patients, things changed. I remember one woman in particular. I was walking from one bed to another, reading their charts. Then she started to make sounds. I knew she was trying to gain my attention. So I closed my files and walked towards her.

''Kenapa mak cik? Mak cik okey?''

She started to complain to me about her calf pain and how it affected her sleep. She frowned talking about the pain like a little kid. She told me how she hated staying in the hospital and her children never came to visit her. I looked at her lunch plate and realised she only ate the fruits. I asked why didn't she eat the porridge, the vegetables and the chicken. She said she had no appetite. And that she only likes fruits, especially the watermelon selling at the cafeteria downstairs. But she is wheel-chair bound and it is difficult for her to go down to the cafeteria. So I offered to buy her the watermelon. 

She was all happy when she saw me coming back with the watermelon. She had one bite and told me the watermelon was sweet. The juice of the watermelon was dripping everywhere on her neck and shirt. I helped her to wipe them away.

I made a promise to myself to always remember the sparks that she had in her eyes and the smile on her face when someone in the ward finally willing to listen to her and satisfy her wish.

Ward 23 taught me something -  that patients are always our best teachers. I am grateful for patients who are happy to let me talk to and examine them. Thank you for seeing me as a member of the medical profession - although I am just a medical student. It reminds me to behave in a professional manner at all times. I know that my rotations will have even more to offer me in terms of interactive, hands-on learning. Finding real life connections between the diseases I learned and the presentations I saw in my patients is interesting. But it is going beyond the disease presentations of my patients and getting a glimpse into their lives that really are the heart of medicine. Thank you, Ward 23.

"Medicine is learned at the bedside and not in the classroom”

Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919)

Life as a medical student #4 Sweet Revenge

From left: Abby, Chern Meng and I

Have you ever met someone that just weren't very nice to you? It wasn't because of anything you did - or maybe it was - but they just weren't very kind or friendly. I remember writing about how I embarrassed myself in front of my supervisor and how it made me think and reflect on my own performance. (You can read about it here) After some time, I realized there were only two possibilities - either I really performed badly or he was trying to pick on me. I wish it was the first one. Worst comes to worst, I have to be the type of incompetent people who know that I am not good, instead of those who are clueless about their incompetence. It is never too late to learn. 

Last Friday, we ended our Student Selected Component (SSC) by having oral presentation in university in front of the examiners, and most importantly - in front of my supervisor. It was a day I have long anticipated, I probably secretly hoping to prove him wrong or something. So of course I made sufficient preparation. We rehearsed the presentation for countless times, we even colour coded our outfits. But most importantly, I was all ready to present to everyone what we have done in the past six weeks. Because from the very beginning, I am proud of what my SSC is all about and am really glad that I was given the opportunity to be a part of the team. (Will be posting here about my 6 weeks attachment at Yayasan Chow Kit soon)

The presentation turned out pretty good, the response from the floor was out of my expectation. People were impressed by the findings and how it would benefit the street children. One of the lecturers from Dublin asked if we would like to publish our papers. I mean, what an honour! Publishing papers is the dream of every researcher. To receive such feedback is the best one could ever get.

I wish it was from my supervisor though. He didn't make any comment after our presentation. No dramas like patting on my shoulder saying ''Well done'' or ''Keep up the good work''. But nah it's okay. Maybe my supervisor is just cool like that.

I dip my fist in sugar before I punch my enemies in the face. Sweet, Sweet Revenge.

Life as a medical student #3 Let's go jogging

Picked up my old habit of jogging in the evening today. And it feels so so good. I smiled to strangers. I admired the flowers that people grown outside of their houses. I realised that the family who had a cute rabbit as their pet, was no longer living in there. I have forgotten how beautiful the sunset is.  The sky is so blue, the clouds are so fluffy. Why didn't I think of doing this earlier? When I was all stressed up last semester, why didn't I go jog? I jogged when I was in IC1, like everyday, but not even a single day in IC2. What have I missed out?

Yesterday was a bad day. Got screwed by my supervisor, which, I think he was right. With just passion is not going to pull me through medical school. I am just....not capable enough. Whatever you have in your head, if you don't speak up, if you don't speak to impress, you are just one dumb idiot. But, almost all the time, I have thousands of thoughts running in my head - should I say this? No I shouldn't. People will laugh at me. Is this correct? No it could probably wrong, I better don't say it. My thoughts are scattered. Only by writing, I can sort out my mind and say myself best. Maybe, just maybe. I need to speak up for myself. I am terrified of something, which I have always wanted to avoid. And yesterday, it just exploded. And I could no longer hide it. I wish I could be perfect in everything I do, I never thought that I could be that weak, and stupid, in front of people. 

I would do anything, to get out of this shit.

Had a bit of thinking today when I was jogging. So I was thinking, maybe one day I would thank him for this. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger anyway. I sat on my favourite swing, had some time to myself. I really, really love this. It calms me down. It makes me think. And I don't have to do anything to please anyone.

Because my thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.

Life as a medical student #2 The lady who inspires me

''What your mind doesn't know, 
your eyes won't see, your ears won't hear, your hands won't feel.''

- Dr Uma Sothinathan

We all look up to strong, independent women. But how do we become one ourselves? There's this one lady - her determination, vision, and strength have always inspired me and is a great example of how we can do anything we set our minds to. Her name is Dr Uma Sothinathan, PU-RCSI Director of Clinical Competency.

I used to dislike her. She is one of the lecturers who emphasises a lot on dress code in university. It really gets on my nerve - it means I have to say goodbye to my skirts and dresses because they are all above knee length! I used to think that she's conservative and demanding. However, not long after I attended her classes and listened to her talks, I realised I was wrong. Proper and decent clothing is a protection to ourselves and also our patients. There's a reason behind everything she does. Deep down, how much she wishes that all of us would make Perdana University proud when we are working in the hospitals in the future. She speaks to us like how a mum speaks to her children. All because she truly cares.

She uses creative methods in delivering quality clinical teaching, with emphasis on reflective practice, mindfulness and shared learning in her students. She made us think - how to be a good doctor? She taught us to be compassionate. She taught us to stop and listen. She taught us to feel. Her humour, her passion in paediatrics, her sparkling eyes when she talks about it. All of these influence my life in ways I am still discovering. 

There's once she made me cry - when she was in-charge of the performance for White Coat Ceremony 2014. It was a group performance. She pointed out my mistake directly, corrected me and said I am not cut out for the stage. She said all these right to my face, I tried so hard not to cry in front of her. I mean, I may not be that talented, but I love stage performance! How could you deny the efforts that I have made to be able to shine on the stage. How could you. I continued to practise, and practise, and practise. She no longer gave any comments, she just sat down at a side and watched. Then when the music stopped, she walked towards me and said, ''You did a very good job. That's the way!'' 

Thank you, for allowing me to grow my own wings. 

La Vie En Rose: The Heist - Agent Lola

What a long and tiring day. Agent Lola just finished a hot bath and changed into her sweet pajamas.
A sweet and demure young woman she is.

On her bed, she is working on a small tablet. 

Her eyes are heavy and sore, but she is determined to locate the lost money. 

She has a good feeling today.

Slowly she inserts a series of number to the tablet from the note she obtained this afternoon. 

The waiting time is killing. She wonders if the world stops turning; if time itself pauses and everything is on hold. 

Her heart is pounding in her chest.

*Loading....*

And Voila! The location is not so far from her. She smiles: ''I got you.''

What is she going to do next?

>>CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT<<

Little Black Dress - Kim (You can find it here)

Black Stockings - Eryn

Nude Zhane Studded Satchel Bag - Lovebaglovebag

Queen Pearl Ball Earring - Happy2u

Korean Torch Ring - Happy2u

Venue - Pariss Hotel

Photos by Kelvin Ong

Make up by Jennifer

Styled by Million Mars

This post is part of the first fashion editorial project of Ma Cherie Johor Bloggers group. Special thanks to our kind sponsor Happy2ucc. With their wide selection of accessories, every girl can be beautiful without having to spend much. Their ready stock and instant delivery save girls a lot of hassle. We are also grateful to have Lovebaglovebag sponsoring all the bags and clutches in this editorial project. Also we would like to thank Pariss Hotel for such a lovely room. This is a project we have been working on for months. Your support is what keeps us going. We hope you like the story! :)

Read more of the behind the scene stories >>HERE<<

La Vie En Rose: The Heist - Behind The Scene

On the 15th of June, I was given a new life.

Ma Cherie Johor Bloggers made their debut recently and everyone was curious - who are they? What are they going to do next? If you read the beautiful story of Ma Cherie in my previous post, you will know that Ma Cherie is a group of eleven ladies with big dreams brought together by fate, and decided to pursue their dreams together. And now, we proudly present to you our debut project - La Vie En Rose: The Heist, which is our first fashion editorial project.

The mastermind behind this project, who is also our script writer for the story, Eryn, got her inspiration when a song came across her mind - ''La Vie en Rose'' sung by French singer Édith Piaf. It means "Life Through Rose-Colored Glasses" in French. What it tries to portrait is that when we view the world through rose-colored glasses, things seem to be better than they really are. With that cheerful and optimistic perception of things, Ma Cherie girls found the courage to dream even bigger. Eryn couldn't help but being captivated by the beautiful melody of the song. 

Looking at the world through rose colored glasses,

Everything is rosy now.

Looking at the world and everything that passes,

Seems of rosy hue somehow.

Man, money and power. Eryn decided that the story will revolve around these three things, which women believe they could use these to control their destiny. Hence lead to the never ending chase. Friedrich Nietzsche once said that, “In revenge and in love woman is more barbaric than man is”. They are willing to do anything to fulfill their desires. Betrayals, dirty tricks, exploitation.

Mind you, we are talking about beautiful woman with both brain and beauty.

The project aims for us to step out of our comfort zone to challenge a new look or style that we have never tried before. And I was given this role - Agent Lola, a young lady who smiles like an angel to cover up the fact that she is working for an underground association. This is the first time I am participating in a photo shoot project like this, so I get really nervous and uneasy that I have to pose in front of the camera. And if you knew me you would know that I seldom dress in this way or put on such heavy make up. (I hope I look okay?) So I see this project as a major break through to me!

The photo shoot turned out to be a huge success because I have the most professional team to back me up. I have Eryn, who put in so much effort, from preparing the script, styling my look to guiding me throughout the photo shooting. I have Kelvin, our photographer who spent hours to try shooting from different angles so that we all look good in the photos. I have Jennifer, who put on the best make up for me so that I look flawless in front of the camera. Not forgetting the other Ma Cherie girls who are ever supportive and encouraging. This is something we have been working on for months, it is our labour of love. I am blessed to have all of you with me in this memorable event of my life. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

What do you think of my look? Do you love the story? How about we do it more often? ;)

Let us know! Your comment will make my day :)

Read about Agent Lola here

Like Ma Cherie Johor Bloggers Facebook page to know what happens after Agent Lola

It's time to bloom and prosper ft. Ma Chérie - the Inkyfingers from Johor

It was yet another lazy Saturday morning where she just wanted to stay in bed and curl up in her bed sheets.

Her workload was overwhelming – files were piling up in her tray and even though she worked long hours she kept getting further behind. So many things to do but so little time. The whole situation seemed out of control and she started to feel pretty depressed. What are the dreams that she had been chasing after? Where are they now? The burning passion that she used to have, was slowly fading away without her noticing. She felt confused and lost. She took a deep breathe in.

Sigh.

Still curling up in her bed sheets, she took a look out through the window. And she was stunned.

Source (bluerose99.blogspot.com): google image

It was a profusely flowering Tecoma tree. She rubbed her eyes, thinking that she must be dreaming. It was like Sakura trees in Japan! After months of drought, Pink Tecoma finally came in a full bloom in Johor. This was a rare scene in Malaysia! On both up and down the same road and on other adjacent roads too, other Tecoma trees were also in full blossom. The fallen withering flowers turned stretches of roads and pavements into a bright and pink carpet.

It delighted everyone in town and warmed their hearts that their city can be so beautiful. The trees were a beautiful addition to the local landscape. People were happily jumping with joy, welcoming this beautiful sight, taking pictures and sharing them on social medias. 

She knew it's time for her to do something. The beautiful scene in front of her eyes resonates with her inner self, as a blogger in this land. After being lost and blogging alone for so long, she saw a ray of light at the end of the dark tunnel. It's time to bloom and prosper. Just look at the Tecoma flowers. Although it has short life span, but throughout its life it shines its beauty to the world. This was when she realised that:

''In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." 
- Abraham Lincoln

Swiftly she got out of her bed and turned on her laptop - if someone's supposed to take this first step - she would be the one. Even in a small town like JB, she believes she can, together with her team, produce good and quality blogs. As the Pink Tecoma resembles the Cherry Blossom flower, she decided to name themselves Ma Chérie. It means my precious/my darling (a way of calling your loved ones) in French. Just like the flowers, they wish to have a unique and distinctive existence. Something precious, to all Johoreans.

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‪#‎MacherieJB‬ ‪#‎InkyfingersJB

‬ Ma Chérie- the Inkyfingers from Johor

So this was how we got our inspiration for our group name: Ma Chérie! (pronounced as " Ma Share Ri ") :D We are a group of eleven Johor girls who are passionate in blogging. I wasn't the girl in the story above, but I feel so thankful that I am being brought into this big family. All thanks to:

Kim - the founder of this group;

Audrey - the designer behind our lovely group logo;

Eryn - for the beautiful story written for Ma Chérie;

Ler - for all the advice given regarding IT stuffs;

Jennifer - our professional make up artist;

Carinn - for bringing me into this group;

Princess and Cece - the lovely sisters who are forever helpful;

Edlyn - the cute youngest sister in the group; and

Sherlyn - the doctor wannabe, just like me!

We want others to recognise us as a community, which brings you the latest trends and the fastest and  most accurate information - be it food, beauty, travel or fashion - we have them all! Everyone of us is like a flower ready to bloom and charm the world. We work together as colleagues, help each other like friends, and love each other like family. When I was still new to the group, I was clueless about everything. However, I received so much of help and even though I never say them out, I feel so touched deep inside. I have learned so much since the beginning. Of course there are times when some of us were caught up in work and there never seems to be enough time. But with helping hands from the other members, we overcome all of these obstacles and grow stronger.

Blogging is our interest, our passion, our dream. We are not going to give up just because of our busy work schedule. We strive to achieve the seemingly impossible work-life balance, because we know that we have YOU - our loyal readers who will continuously show your love and support. We are the Inkyfingers from Johor, "Inky" depicts writing; and "fingers" are what we use to do our work - that we type to produce blog posts for our dearest readers!

Support us by clicking 'like' on Ma Chérie JohorBloggers Facebook page!

We share posts daily!
p/s: Ma Chérie first project coming up soon! A fun and mysterious one.
So you've got to like and follow us to know more about it! :)

A million thanks to all my readers, for your kind words, your support and for believing in me. Thank you for spending your time to read through my words, even if this is the first time you are visiting my blog. Thank you to my blogger friends, blogging has never been this fun before. I never know I can do this much in such a short time, and I know I wouldn't achieve them without all of you. And it is amazing how all of us are working towards the same dream now. You are the courage for me to run a little faster, dream a little bigger.

Dear readers, I hope you are living the life of your dream too! :)

''Dare to dream.''

Love all of you!

Eunice, xoxo