Sunday, May 17, 2015

Life as a medical student #11 The end is the beginning of all things

It's only the beginning now
A pathway yet unknown
At times the sound of other steps
Sometimes we walk alone

The best beginnings of our lives
May sometimes end in sorrow
But even on our darkest days
The sun will shine tomorrow.

So we must do our very best
Whatever life may bring
And look beyond the winter chill
To smell the breath of spring.

Into each life will always come
A time to start anew
A new beginning for each heart
As fresh as morning dew.

Although the cares of life are great
And hands are bowed so low
The storms of life will leave behind
The wonder of a rainbow.

The years will never take away
Our chance to start anew
It's only the beginning now
So dreams can still come true.

Another year of medical school has come to an end. 
Thank you Group C1, I am going to miss all of you. 
Let's ace the exam together, shall we?

Blog hibernate mode turns on.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

记我与慈济的一段缘 #4 双溪毛糯麻风病院送愛之旅

距离吉隆坡市中心约一小时车程,有一个叫希望之谷的地方。在70年代,共有逾2000名麻风病人被隔离居住在这里。随着岁月的流逝,目前只剩下200位年龄60岁以上的病人。这里是双溪毛糯麻风病院 (Sungai Buloh Leprosy Settlement),是时代的产物,是人类基于对疾病的恐惧制造出来的隔离场所。





Life as a medical student #10 About inferiority complex

I just feel incompetent.

I remember how I was always the top of my class in high school. I knew I had to do well in SPM to get the college admission I desired and the scholarship I needed. So I scored 9A+ in SPM, enrolled in matriculation - the fastest way to degrees, and when everyone was complaining of not being able to study medicine, I was awarded the highly sought after JPA scholarship to study medicine in Perdana University. It's all been smooth sailing; everything has gone exactly according to plan. I thought I was a blessed child. As soon as I entered medical school, I realized that this kind of success is everywhere. I was surrounded by geniuses. It no longer makes me special or stand out. I don't think I am smart, in any way.

I struggled, a lot. I feel inferior compared to the others in the hospital who always seem to know more than me. I still have to look up things when I don't understand during the ward rounds and flipping my books like crazy for things I have already studied. I get frustrated and just feel like I shouldn't be there. Every two weeks we move on to a new posting and new environment. So just when I feel like I know what's going on, I am back to square one. Incompetent, clueless, and most importantly, being doubtful of my ability. Sometimes, it makes me wonder, whether I would make it, to be a good and competent doctor. Some days my best is just not good enough.

After three years in medical school, I am still struggling to learn how to be good at medicine. But in order to be the person I have always envisioned myself to be, I will continue to find my way.

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